Discovering the purpose of one’s life

(Reproduced verbatim from a post on one of my old blogs - written on December 6, 2011)

Over the last few days, I was battling with what I believed to be a reasonably serious problem, though I did think  it was nevertheless a nice problem to have. Stated very simply and somewhat crudely, the problem that occupied my mind is that I did not have an answer to the following, very innocent and deceptively simple question:

“What should I do (in life)?”

I thought I would be much more at peace if and when I have a clear, convincing (to my inner self) and enduring answer to this question, which made me want to find the answer as soon as possible.

The quest to find an answer to the above question – which arguably many people face at some point in their lives – brought my attention to what is plausibly an even more fundamental question: 

“How does one figure out what one should do (in life)?”

In other words, I was wondering whether there could be a universally applicable “algorithm” or “process”, following which each individual could  arrive at his/her own specific and unique answer to the first question posed above.

It did not take me long to discover that I did not have an answer to the second (and to my mind a more fundamental) question either. I therefore considered it advisable to focus my energies on finding an answer to this question first, which would in turn guide me towards the answer to the first.

(A little more reflection now makes me realize that many, if not most, people would have found an answer to the first question without asking themselves the second question and/or without knowing the answer to the second question and/or even without asking themselves even the first question! They might just have come to “know” it – convincingly yet in a somewhat mystical manner. But alas, I seem not to have seen the answer yet. Or have I?)

Anyway, let us stay with the second question for the time being. The quest to answer this made me think about values and the value typology propounded by the social psychologist Milton Rockeach (the Rockeach Value Survey is a values classification instrument founded on this value typology). This typology consists of two sets of values, each set containing eighteen individual value items. One set, called terminal values, refers to desirable end states of existence. These are the goals a person would like to achieve during his/her lifetime. The other set, called instrumental values, refers to preferable modes of behaviour, or means of achieving the terminal values.

Coming back to our question (i.e., the second), I was wondering how one can incorporate this dichotomous value framework in coming up with a process to find an answer to the first question. Is there a conflict between terminal and instrumental values? If yes, should I give priority to my terminal or instrumental values?  Or is there a way of marrying the two seamlessly?

I went to bed yesterday, my mind occupied with and somewhat troubled by these decidedly nagging questions.

Before I proceed further, I should point out that I believe firmly in God (indeed, I need to continually make my belief firmer and stronger). I also believe that God has a plan for each one of us – a plan that is for our good, only for our good, for our individual as well as collective  good and a plan that is much more beautiful and better than what we can ever imagine. Hence I believe it is our sacred call to realize His vision of us by doing His will.

Ok, so I got up today morning with a fresh mind, and was not quite thinking about the questions mentioned above. And it turned out that I had an open conversation with my (two, younger) brothers about some matters that concern us as a family. During the conversation, one of my brothers highlighted the important distinction between career and life, which also made me recollect what my “General Psychology” Professor told us in one of his classes: that we should always remember that career is only a subset of life (one might add that it is only a proper subset).

This makes me wonder whether I was asking the wrong set of questions after all. Instead of asking “What should I do (in life)?”, should I rather be asking “Who should I be?” ? I wonder. I still wonder.

I find a lot of merit in trying to answer this question, rather than the earlier ones. For one, it seems a lot easier! Secondly, perhaps it would inevitably lead me to the former set of answers. Or would it?

I think it depends to a large extent on how much of the fulfillment we need in life we need to derive from work and hence how much meaningful our work should be.

Well, for now, let me close here. Will keep reflecting on these and sharing my thoughts with you.

Thank you for reading,

Welcoming your thoughts,

God bless.

(Reproduced verbatim from a post on one of my old blogs - written on December 6, 2011)

Postscript:

It has been close to five years since I wrote the above; the experiences and reflections of these years have led me to closer to my life's purpose. I will be sharing these soon. Meanwhile, here is one book I read (in 2012) which I would like to strongly recommend: How will you Measure your Life?

For the Seekers:

1. How to Read the 3 Signs Telling You Your Purpose in Life
2. 7 Strange Questions that help you find your life purpose
3. 3 Unexpected Ways to Find Your Life Purpose
4. How to Discover Your Life Purpose in About 20 Minutes
5. How to Know Your Life Purpose in 5 Minutes: Adam Leipzig at TEDxMalibu